Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
