smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize