so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
