Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize