Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
