The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
