That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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