I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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