morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You pole danced in your parka.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
