people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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