I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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