This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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