i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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