the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
