she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
