I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
