She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
