I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
