I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
