I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
