can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
