I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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