So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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