I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
A bitchslap is in order.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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