She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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