drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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