i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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