Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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