I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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