Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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