GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
