i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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