All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize