next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
