12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
