when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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