Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
