I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize