I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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