6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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