i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I just had sex on a roof
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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