he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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