Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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