My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
