you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
