id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
