someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
