No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Randomize