walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
