My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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