Your mouth is God's brothel.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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