the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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