of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize