Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
