whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
