I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
