this just has baby written all over it
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
