All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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