I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
