I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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