So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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