what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
