bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
