im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
