I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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