I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize