He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
