I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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